Changeling Dawn Read online

  She should have known. She had known, dammit. “I smelled a bear and I didn’t think anything of it. Bears are everywhere at this time of year.” Maybe it was the same dumb bear that had taken out her grid. She should have chased him into next week, but Kenzie had assumed he was just passing through. Crap, crap, crap. She started picking things up and examining them. Outside of the cast-iron skillet, there was very little that wasn’t completely ruined.

  “Here are your culprits.” Josh knelt by the campfire and pointed at a mish-mashed collection of prints in the soil. “Grizzly cubs, about a year old. At least two, maybe even three, had a blast playing with all your stuff.” He continued to search the ground. “Look at that, Mama Bear joined the party too.”

  “You’d think she’d have known better,” sniffed Kenzie as she stuffed a pair of salvageable underwear into her jeans pocket and searched for the mate to the sock in her hand. “What bear is crazy enough to enter a Changeling’s territory?”

  “An Alaskan bear, honey,” said Stanton, picking up a knapsack that now had no bottom and only one strap. “I imagine your Pack’s lived in northern Canada for a very long time. The animals there would be familiar with shapeshifters, and they know enough to steer clear.

  “But here, it’s different. Few Changelings for one thing and countless bears—Alaska’s a big place. Hell, there are plenty of bears who have never encountered human beings and don’t know how dangerous they are either.”

  “I know it’s not their fault. It’s just that everything’s trashed and those damn bears ate all my food for the whole month.”

  “Poor bears,” murmured Josh as he examined the empty packaging of some freeze-dried tuna casserole.

  She punched him in the arm. Harder than she needed to.

  “Hey, can I help it if they saved you from being poisoned?”

  “The food wasn’t that bad. The meals were portable, they kept well, and they were quick.”

  “So are my shoes,” he said and grabbed Kenzie’s hand before she could sock him again. She yanked it away. Ignored the protest that her inner wolf made. Ignored the way Josh’s eyebrows went up, too.

  He glanced over where Stanton was searching the bushes for Kenzie’s belongings, then lowered his voice. “Look, it’s a bad break but just forget this stuff. There’s not a damn thing here that’s salvageable. We’ll head over to Anchorage or wherever you want to go. I know some good wilderness outfitters and we’ll get you some more supplies, okay? Even more of this instant cr—food.

  “And I’ve got a credit card if you need it. I know you scientist types are pretty dependent on funding.”

  Jeez, did he have to be so damn nice? She was still mad at him, after all, and he wasn’t making it easy. “Thanks for the offer, but I can afford to replace everything, no problem. I have my truck too so I’m just fine, Josh. You don’t need to worry about me.”

  “I’m thinking I do. And right now, I’m thinking you have something on your mind and we need to take a walk.” He called out to Anya to stay with “Uncle Stanton” and headed back down the trail in the direction of the dig.

  Kenzie watched him for a long moment, then decided that clearing the air was a good idea. She paced herself so she didn’t catch up with him too soon—she didn’t want Anya or Stanton to hear them either.

  Josh stopped where the trail dipped beneath a monstrous leaning spruce. Folded his arms and settled back against the mossy trunk as if he was perfectly relaxed. She felt anything but calm, and it was downright annoying that he seemed as centered as ever, as if he belonged in the forest as much as the tree he was resting against.

  “So what did I do or not do that pissed you off?” he asked, catching her by surprise.

  “I—how do you know it was you?”

  “I have three sisters, I know how it works. If a woman is upset, it’s something the guy did or didn’t do. So which is it?”

  “Just because you know what I am doesn’t mean you get to tell other people. It’s not your business, it’s not your secret, it’s not your damn life. It’s not automatically safe to reveal identities to Changelings outside the Pack. You had no right—”

  “You’re mad because I brought Stanton here?” he interrupted. “Look, I didn’t tell him what you were. I went to him for help about the cub because he knows the people in this area, both human and shapeshifter. He asked to come here to see the cub but he also wanted to meet you.”

  “Because I’m a Changeling.”

  “No, because I like you a lot. He’s been my friend for years and he’s as bad as my Aunt Theresa when it comes to meddling in my dating life.”

  “Are you honestly trying to tell me that you didn’t mention what I am?”

  “Not a word. Christ, should I have planned something? Is there some sort of protocol that shapeshifters have to observe? Don’t you ever just meet like normal people, run into each other by chance?”

  “Not very often,” she murmured, then blew out a breath. Josh hadn’t spilled her secret after all. Of course, now she felt like an idiot. “I’m sorry.”

  “Me too. Sorry that you have to live in constant fear of having your cover blown. And maybe I should have phoned you, warned you that I was bringing Stanton by.”

  “You didn’t know, you couldn’t have known. You were just acting—”

  “Like a human being,” he finished.

  She didn’t feel like arguing, but he was absolutely right about one thing—she did live in fear. As independent and accomplished as she was, everything she did boiled down to that one fact. It was the reason she was here, searching for a needle in an ancient haystack, one key piece of evidence that might alleviate an entire world of fear. For a split second she could hear Birkie’s words: Letting go of fear can be scarier than what you’re afraid of. She brushed the advice away. “I overreacted. I’m just not used to having a human know what I am.”

  “Me, you mean.” He studied her for a long moment, then reached out and took her hand. Watched her face with something like amusement as he tugged her closer. “You study humans but you sure don’t know them very well.”

  “That’s not true. I have a doctorate in anthropology for pity’s sake.”

  “It’s not the same,” he said. “Knowing about them and knowing them. Not at all. ’Cause when you studied them, you missed something along the line. It’s probably not written in any of your textbooks.”

  “What isn’t?”

  “That some of us can actually be trusted. Your secret is safe with me, Kenzie Macleod.”

  “How do I know that for sure?” she blurted, then wished she hadn’t. It was a little too much like calling the guy a liar.

  He shook his head. “You need to have a little faith.”

  “What I need is a reason.”

  Something in his eyes flashed then. His big hands traveled slowly up her arms, rounded over her shoulders and slid up to cup her head. Her eyes were wide and her hands were fisted, but she didn’t move, couldn’t move, as he simply, gently, brushed his lips over hers. She exhaled a shaky breath as he traced the contours of her mouth with devastating slowness. By the time he deepened the kiss, her arms were around his neck. She had no idea how much time passed—could have been seconds or days—before he lifted his head. All she knew was that the kiss had ended much too soon.

  He didn’t let go of her, and she was glad for that. Glad that he felt so solid, because she felt anything but. It should have seemed silly—in human form, she was physically strong and in wolfen form, there was no creature in nature that she needed to fear. Yet this man had shaken her entire world right to its foundations and rendered her helpless with nothing more than a kiss.

  They stood like that for a long time, her head resting on his shoulder.

  “Was that a good enough reason?” he asked at last. With her face against him she could feel the vibration of his voice, and something within her quivered.

  “For what?”

  He laughed and pulled out of the embrace. “Yo
u said you needed a reason to trust me. I could have given you a list, but instead, I just showed you how I feel about you.”

  She didn’t know what to say, so she just nodded. Hoped she didn’t have too dumb an expression on her face. And was hugely relieved when he suggested they head back to camp.

  Stanton had the site organized when they returned. At least, it was organized if it was a recycling center and not a camp. Kenzie surveyed the mound of foam, the heap of nylon and fabric, the stacks of broken kitchen hardware, and the pile of empty foil packets in amazement. “Holy cow! How’d you get all this done so fast?” He’d gotten a roll of heavy duty garbage bags—must have come from Josh’s truck because she hadn’t owned any—and was systematically bagging the debris. She rushed to hold open a bag for him.

  “Easy enough. I had help.”

  As if on cue, the wolf cub trotted by and deposited a scrap of blue foam on the appropriate pile. “Anya, that’s wonderful,” Kenzie said. “Thank you.” She lowered her voice and whispered to Stanton. “I see you’re great with kids.”

  “Me and Edie raised six of our own. You pick up a few things after a while. She was always better at it than me, though.”

  “You must miss her.”

  “Every damn day.”

  Josh grabbed two of the filled bags and an armload of bent and broken aluminum legs which had once held up the chairs and the table. “I’ll put these in the truck. Looks like our first assessment was right—I don’t see anything worth saving.”

  “Actually, Anya and I found a few little things that survived.” Stanton pointed over to some objects in the skillet by the fire pit. “Not much though. The bears were pretty damn thorough.”

  Kenzie counted two more pairs of underwear, three socks, a handful of eating utensils, and a filled notebook with half its pages missing. Good thing she transcribed her penciled notes into the netbook every night. Had the small computer been in her tent and fallen victim to the bearfest as well, she had everything backed up on a pair of flash drives that lived in her shirt pocket. To someone who wasn’t an archaeologist, it might have seemed obsessive, but Kenzie had learned the hard way to maintain copies of her work in every form possible. On a dig in Arizona, a rock had fallen from a canyon wall and crushed her laptop. On an Egyptian expedition, her notebook had been eaten by a damn goat. The bears might have annihilated her camp but they hadn’t destroyed her work.

  “Sorry we didn’t find more,” said Stanton, holding up what was left of her Coleman stove. It was crushed flat like an empty pop can. “They even ate your soap. I think you’re going to have to go to town and start fresh. I’d skip the local trading posts and go up to Anchorage if I were you. There’ll be a better selection on some of the bigger stuff. Josh’ll know right where to take you. And the two of you will have much more fun there. Movies, restaurants, malls, museums. Glennallen’s a great place, but it’s just a little junction in the road.”

  She rolled her eyes. Josh had been right about Stanton’s interest in his love life. Before she could form a response, another thought struck her. “Omigod, I forgot about Anya. She can’t stay here by herself.” The little wolf was on the other side of the camp, playing with the down feathers from the gutted sleeping bag.

  “No, she can’t,” Josh agreed from behind her. She didn’t jump but she was surprised she hadn’t heard him approach. “We’re just going to have to talk her into coming with us. We can probably pass her off as a dog with that white leg.”

  Kenzie didn’t miss the us. He was still determined to accompany her. “That won’t work. She still won’t come within arm’s length of either of us, so there’s no way she’s going to get into a truck. I’ll just have to stay here. Maybe you could pick up some things for me in town and bring them by when you get a chance.”

  “That doesn’t help you right now. You don’t have a damn thing to eat or sleep on or even sleep in.”

  She shrugged. “Yes, but I’m a Changeling. I’ll just be a wolf tonight. Anya seems to like me better that way anyhow, and I’m perfectly capable of hunting us something for dinner.”

  Josh was about to protest when Stanton held up his hand.

  “I’ll stay,” said the vet. “You kids go ahead and spend a couple days in town. Don’t even think about coming back until Friday. Anya and I will be just fine.”

  “That’s way too much to ask,” began Kenzie.

  “Believe me, I’d enjoy the chance to get in touch with my hairier side. Seems like I don’t get around to it much anymore.” Suddenly an icy breeze swirled up out of nowhere, both strange and welcome in the heat of the afternoon. Dried leaves and bits of grass rose and played around Stanton, wind pulled at his hair with invisible fingers. The smell of ozone hung in the hot still air, as if lightning was about to strike.

  Instead, a large and lanky wolf yawned and stretched where the vet had been standing only a split second before, a few stray blue sparks of static still crackling in his silver fur.

  “Wow,” breathed Josh. “That’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.”

  “You haven’t seen him Change before?” asked Kenzie.

  He shook his head. “Totally amazing and so damn fast. I guess I expected a more gradual process or something. Hell, I thought you at least had to get naked first. And look at you, Stanton, you’re bigger than any wolf has a right to be. You’re like an uber wolf.”

  Stanton chuffed at him as if laughing, then rolled on his back and began wriggling like a puppy. A moment later, Anya stopped playing with the feathers and crept over to see what was going on. The silver wolf made whining sounds in his throat and remained on his back. He glanced at the cub, then at Kenzie and winked. Anya hunched down in the grass, eyeing Stanton’s long bushy tail. Slowly, the tip of it began to twitch....

  She pounced. Stanton flinched once and Kenzie had to cover her mouth to stifle a laugh—the cub’s teeth might be small but Kenzie knew well how sharp they were. To his credit, the old wolf managed to hold his position, but it wasn’t long before Anya attacked a hind foot and all-out wrestling commenced. Stanton lifted his head once and yipped at the couple watching them, before he was forced to defend an ear.

  “I guess that’s our cue to get lost,” said Josh.

  “I don’t know whether to worry about Anya or worry about Stanton. Are you sure this is a good idea?”

  “You heard him. Stanton and his wife raised six kids. All of them Changelings by the way. He’ll survive.” Josh led the way to the trucks. “I’m thinking this might even be good for him. He doesn’t shapeshift very often, not since Edie passed on.”

  “Wolves aren’t designed to be alone. It must be hard for him.”

  “It must be hard for you too. I’ll bet you’re away from your family a lot in your line of work.”

  She was so not going there and changed the subject. “You’re still determined to go shopping with me?”

  “You bet. You’re going to need some fresh clothes before we go out tomorrow night, and you’d probably like something a little dressy for dancing. Unless you’d rather go bowling, in which case jeans will work just fine.”

  She narrowed her eyes at him as he held the door of her truck open for her. “You can tag along shopping with me if you want but I’m not going on a date with you.”

  “Why not? We already kissed, which is what we would have done at the end of the evening. Why not enjoy everything that would have led up to that? By the way, I have to take my truck back to the office, so you can follow me there and then we’ll drive your rig to the city.”

  “We shouldn’t have done that. It was a mistake.”

  “Kissing? Why the hell would that be a mistake?”

  “Because you’re human. I can’t have a relationship with a human, so there’s no point in starting one.”

  “Can’t or won’t? Are Changelings physically incapable of pairing with humans or is this a form of prejudice?”

  She opened her mouth and closed it again.

  “I thought so.
Now about our date, would you rather dance first or eat first?”

  “I’m not going out with you. And if you don’t drop it, I’m shopping alone too.”

  He just smiled. “I’ll meet you at my office.” He gave her directions, got into his truck, and left.

  Her inner wolf was impatient but she waited until the dust died down completely and there was no reason to put off following the man any longer. She drove the entire way to Glennallen wishing there was another road to take. Any road except the one that led to Josh Talarkoteen.

  Chapter Ten

  Josh parked outside his little office in Glennallen, a stone’s throw from the tee-intersection that connected the Old Richardson and the Glenn highways. It was late in the afternoon, still hot, and the sun would be up for a long time yet. He’d left all the windows open, but it hadn’t helped much. He switched on the two fans—the last of the hardware store’s stock of them—planted himself at his desk by the window, and waited for his quarry to appear. Like the Spartans at the passage of Thermopylae, Josh had an all-important advantage. There was no route Kenzie Macleod could take that wouldn’t bring her right past him.

  Unless, of course, she decided to stay in camp. Josh supposed she could rough it there for as long as she pleased, hunting for deer and sleeping under the sky. Would probably enjoy it for a while too—hell, he sure would. Sooner or later, though, she’d resent how much time it took away from her dig. And she would want to continue to coax Anya to shift to human form—tough to be persuasive on that point if she wasn’t on two legs herself.

  He snorted at Kenzie’s anti-human bias. Most people were unaware they had any prejudices and he was certain she didn’t think of her feelings that way. He knew that most prejudice sprang from fear of the unfamiliar, yet Kenzie lived her life among humans, even studied them, and spent at least half of her life in human form. He experienced discrimination rarely as a Tahltan in Alaska, perhaps because anyone who lived in this last frontier knew he might have to someday depend on his neighbor and be depended upon in return. The fury of nature was a great leveler. War was too—in Afghanistan, nobody gave a damn what color you were as long as you had their back.